Found this one laying around on a spare drive..
REFLECTING
Mesmerized by the cadence of droplets from the Fountain of Youth slipping away
ALIVE
Feeling the weight of the years in a single breath
AOLNE
The inner child neglected. Mistreated
HOLD ME
Behind eyes closed, images of the cesspool which swims humanity.
HATE
Bittersweet agony, torturous visions of dispair
HURT
Rivulets of pain trickle down my face
LONELINESS
Ubiquitous cloak of insecurity drapes over my heart
COMFORT ME
Bring the happieness I know you can
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Goin back to Cali.
Mar 28th, 2012
9:40pm CST
My first flight in 13 years. Admittedly I was a bit apprehensive. For years I avoided it like the Plague and would publicly denounce the very notion of getting into another flying tube of death. Or so I would exclaim. I think it was just a reflex to all the airplane movies I saw growing up. You know the ones, they almost always end I'm some horrific pile of flaming, twisted death-filled carnage. One also filled, by the writer's vision, with a story of the human spirit, pulling together to save one another and sometimes sacrifice for the common good. Ok, so maybe it's not that bad. This time I wasn't gripping the arms of my seat like I was being electrocuted as we ascended into the sky. It looked like they dragged the waters Of the Amazon delta, and poured it into my cup. After take off, the flight attendants with little enthusiasm came by with the food carts. Thankfully it was a smooth flight and landing.
Apr 2nd, 2012
6:40 pm PST
The time spent with my family was of mixed emotions and experiences. It was wonderful to see my kids again. My how they've grown in just 6 months! Crazy. Nice to see my Dad and Kathy too. They haven't changed in the past year since we last met. But we had good times. Bolsa Chica wetlands, Camelot mini golf, a near visitation of Griffith Observatory, and Rob with his kids joining us for dinner. Just being able to hold my children again was the best part of the whole vacation.
The flight back had a little more turbulence then the other direction, but wasn't bad. Finished my book about an hour ago, so I have time to write more here later..
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Back In The Saddle
Well its been a while since I've put time into this blog, so here we (the royal "we") go!
Now I've been journaling for a little over a year now and some of that will appear here. For those that know me, this will be the edited version of what they understand of my life since then. I'll try to keep it brief as to not bore the august body that is you the reader.
"The short SHORT version." So..starting from last Summer. I quit at&t, moved to Texas for a better job and life. Endured heartache and headache and then had a couple events in a row that woke me up. So then I moved again and have been trying to live a drama-free life. The past seven months have had their ups and downs. And then I had what some may call an epiphany. Had what I thought was a heart attack, may have just been an anxiety attack, found I needed better control of my blood pressure and blood sugar. Also my stress and diet. Moved into a better environment, went back on the HCG Diet, walking a couple times a day, writing more and playing more guitar. Cut a bad element from my life permenantly and am trying to straighten out another major event in my life. I refuse to live in misery anymore, I'll not be so nice, giving, loving, caring..doing everything for everyone with the blinders of love on..just to get mistreated, used like a welcome mat. Walking over me on their way to another. I need to not lose sight of life around me, and who I am.
Still reading? Whew, though I put you to sleep with my mental cleansing. Anyway..done with the rant. I shall do better to write more on this site. If you continue to read this page again or stay subscribed, I promise it'll get better. Peace!
Now I've been journaling for a little over a year now and some of that will appear here. For those that know me, this will be the edited version of what they understand of my life since then. I'll try to keep it brief as to not bore the august body that is you the reader.
"The short SHORT version." So..starting from last Summer. I quit at&t, moved to Texas for a better job and life. Endured heartache and headache and then had a couple events in a row that woke me up. So then I moved again and have been trying to live a drama-free life. The past seven months have had their ups and downs. And then I had what some may call an epiphany. Had what I thought was a heart attack, may have just been an anxiety attack, found I needed better control of my blood pressure and blood sugar. Also my stress and diet. Moved into a better environment, went back on the HCG Diet, walking a couple times a day, writing more and playing more guitar. Cut a bad element from my life permenantly and am trying to straighten out another major event in my life. I refuse to live in misery anymore, I'll not be so nice, giving, loving, caring..doing everything for everyone with the blinders of love on..just to get mistreated, used like a welcome mat. Walking over me on their way to another. I need to not lose sight of life around me, and who I am.
Still reading? Whew, though I put you to sleep with my mental cleansing. Anyway..done with the rant. I shall do better to write more on this site. If you continue to read this page again or stay subscribed, I promise it'll get better. Peace!
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